Ed's Big Adventure
(This is a short story I wrote around seven years ago, I think as a sort of practice for writing dialog between multiple people. It's nothing remarkable, but I think it's pretty fun.)
"Are you sure we're going the right way?" I asked for what had to have been at least the fifth time today. "We've been at this for like an hour and a half."
"Yes I'm sure, now shut up and keep going." was all Ed had to say at this point.
When I got up this morning I was expecting this to just be a normal day, though at this point I don't know why I ever expect a day I agree to "hang out" with Ed to be normal anymore. When I think of "hanging out" my mind usually goes to something like playing a video game, or wandering the mall for an hour, not following my hair-brained friend on a hike through some random forest in the middle of God-Knows-Where, Wisconsin. Yet for some reason these bizarre adventures are all Ed ever seems to want to do.
After another ten or twenty minutes of seemingly aimless wandering I couldn't help but ask; "Dude, where are we even going? And don't say 'It's a surprise'." That's all he ever said, and most of the time the surprise is never worth it.
"You're such a spoil-sport, man. Where's your sense of adventure?" Needless to say that wasn't the answer I was looking for. "It died about four miles ago" was all I had to say.
"Just shut up, besides we're almost there." Against my better judgement I took his word for it and kept on with our death march.
After another good half an hour of wading through waist-high shrubbery I was totally convinced that Ed was either royally screwing with me and has been leading us in circles for two hours, or he's secretly been plotting to kill me for the last ten years and it took until now to figure out how to do it. I started losing focus on the rough trail Ed was carving ahead of me and just began imaging everything else I could've been doing today that wasn't this. It wasn't until I walked right into Ed's back that I snapped back into reality, having been totally unaware that he had even stopped.
"We're here!" he said in an almost sing-song voice. I collected myself from my stumble and moved to stand next to Ed to see just what it was he had us hike all the way out here for. A few yards ahead of us I could make out what looked like an derelict log cabin, half buried in decades of moss and rotting plant. "Well, are you gonna come in?" my bizarre friend said as he jogged right for the ancient building. I slowly followed behind him, not even sure of what to think.
"Ed... what?" I didn't even know what to say at this point. "How did you even know this was here? We're like 10 miles away from anything." I don't even think he heard the question considering how enthralled he was with the glorified dirt hut. "C'mon, let's go inside!" was the only response I got. I was certain he was just planning to kill me and leave my corpse behind at this point, but I followed him into the rotting cottage regardless.
The interior of this decrepit building was about as much as I expected it to be. Some thin rays of sunlight shined in through the windows and the cracks in the roof, illuminating the one-room hut and revealing absolutely nothing of interest. The room was basically empty, aside from a number of small plants that had taken root in the rotting floorboards. Now I really had just given up. "Okay Ed, seriously, why did you drag us all the way out here just to see this disgusting hut?"
"Oh, no real reason. I was screwing around on Google Maps last weekend and noticed this place. I figured it would make for a fun hike!" With that all I could do was stare in disbelief. Without speaking I turned around, left the disgusting cottage, and began the long march back to our car. I could hear Ed shouting at me from inside to come back, but I didn't care anymore.
From now on whenever Ed wants to hang out, I'm making the plans.